High School is very superficial.  And this may seem paradoxical, but it is very superficial on many levels.  There is the most traditional sense of superficiality: clothes, friends, hair, cars.  That exists, but it is innocuous in the that it exists in the open.  It is superficial, but it does not purport to be anything but.

When I first met Kevin, it was at that level of superficial. He looked at my iPod, scrolling down the list of artists until he saw something he could admit to liking. “Oh you know Blaqk Audio?” I passed his first test.

Then, he thought for a moment. “Did you know that they’re the same people from AFI?” I did, and passed his second test. In those moments, all I remember was sitting and wondering how Kevin managed to see through his bangs. That was the first level of superficial.

The second level of superficial is far more pernicious, but something we are all, to a certain extent, complicit in.  The things we did for the college app.  Twenty different student clubs, that extra AP class, the summer classes that guaranteed a 2300.  For Kevin, I thought that level of superficial was what was compelling him to go to a prospective Ohana member meeting.  When we entered, I looked around and most everyone else there looked to be driven by the same end. Or maybe, I mused, it was the free brownies.

And so it went. SOCal, Ohana, Verdadera, Histech 2012.  The theme around everything Kevin did in high school was the same: helping people more than they could ever appreciate. Or deserve. I want to lie and say that Kevin became so busy with all of this that I stopped seeing him around. Instead, nothing changed. He was still the ever-present sarcastic asshole that colored my high school experience. He compromised everything he could on his own (grades & sleep), but never his friends.  High School was superficial. Kevin wasn’t.

The phrase “bad things happen to good people” was probably written retroactively to describe Kevin.  But that’s all I have to say about this, because there was never any wallowing in self-pity. The question for Kevin wasn’t, “Why does this happen to me?” but “How do I respond?” and “What can I do now that it has happened?”.  True selflessness does not begin with helping others, but with not wanting anything for yourself.  Kevin had the right start.

I’m sad because he has a new laptop and I won’t get to lend him mine anymore for Final Cut. I’m sad that Jim doesn’t break down more often. I am sad because all he needs to be happy is some oatmeal in the morning, bananas, and a sandwich. I am sad because in a few months he will be gone to college and my favor account will be in deep deficit.

Through it all, there was no award at the end of the road for Kevin. No big-shot titles.

So I will offer him this one, however little it may mean: Kevin Hikaru Tsukii is my unsung hero.

12:54 pm  •  3 June 2012  •  4 notes

Anonymous asked: who let the dogs out?

99% sure we danced to this in Middle School for line dancing.

10:12 pm  •  31 May 2012  •  1 note

Anonymous asked: Winning an award tonight?

Yee! Yee! Picador!

10:11 pm  •  31 May 2012  •  2 notes

Was a culmination of many aspects of the High School experience. Speaking of which, are girls smarter or do they just win more awards? Why?

Whose woods these are I think I know.  

 

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

10:11 pm  •  31 May 2012

Anonymous asked: Why?

Great band. I recommend Simeon’s Dilemma.

8:29 pm  •  30 May 2012  •  1 note

Anonymous asked: ahaha you're pretty clever! sorry, didn't know you were trying to avoid the question ><' another philosophical question: what is the general purpose of life (not passing on genes, k)? and then, what do you want to do with your life? l

1. To find that meaning for yourself, whatever it may be. The point of using someone “wiser” than you is to take their advice in helping find that meaning. But it is something you must discover organically. (Though I will argue that some meanings are more productive than others. But that’s why some people are more useful than others.)

EDIT: I guess what I want to say is that if I wanted to go around telling people the meaning of life, I would become a pastor. The meaning of life is something you get to arrive upon, that’s the beauty of it. Now don’t do something stupid. Make the world a better place.

2. Make something special. (For now.)

8:25 pm  •  30 May 2012

Anonymous asked: have you ever had a gf then?

Kevin is my girlfriend. But is Kevin really my girlfriend unless he says so?

My point is, you’re asking the wrong person.

My other point is, when people intentionally avoid questions, they are intentionally avoiding questions.

11:17 pm  •  29 May 2012

Anonymous asked: what was your letter to your future roommate?

I’ll post it sometime. I didn’t like it.

11:15 pm  •  29 May 2012

Anonymous asked: Best decision you made in HS? Worst Decision?

Can they be the same decision? It’s hard to rank anything over anything else. Things are what they are. Who knows what I lost out on by doing what I did? Who knows what I gained?

Best: Not listening to people. Recognizing most idiots early in the game.

Worst: Not recognizing all the idiots. Taking Stats at MV (but again, Stats was my most enjoyable class in some aspects, so it’s hard to say…)

11:15 pm  •  29 May 2012  •  1 note

Anonymous asked: are you an optimist/pessimist/realist?

I am what I need to be.

11:13 pm  •  29 May 2012